Wednesday's Words by Morgan Ashbury

Editions

2009-10-28

There's no limit!

If you’ve ever wondered if there’s a limit to the degree to which I’m willing to embarrass myself in order to share in these essays, the answer is probably no. Years ago, when the kids were small, we had an electric can opener. I do recall this device, because we had a couple of cats at the time, and every time I would open peas or corn for dinner, they thought it was their food being opened.

2009-10-20

How am I supposed to keep up?

How am I supposed to keep everything straight in my head and figure everything out? First there was MySpace. Now, MySpace is just plain difficult. It is! I can’t figure it out. I don’t know how to update. Someone set my MySpace up for me, but they’ve been gone (um, not in the ultimate sense, mind you, just not around the old cyber space any longer) and I don’t know how to do anything on it!

2009-10-14

Being a writer isn’t easy.

Yes, sometimes the writer has considerable talent, and whether or not you have talent really wasn’t your call, it was God’s, which is a gift. But all the rest of it you have to forge, you have to work at yourself. And it can be very hard work. The best writers write with passion, and I’m not necessarily talking about the kind of passion you’ll find in romance. Although if you do write romance, it had better be pretty darn passionate.

2009-10-07

Turkey day is coming to Canada next Monday—the same day, this year, as Columbus Day in the United States.

It never fails that when I think of Thanksgiving, I recall my school days and the colourful renditions of pumpkins and pilgrims, Indians and The Mayflower and of course, turkeys that we made to decorate the walls of our classroom. I don’t believe it ever occurred to me that we were using American symbols to illustrate our Canadian holiday; the truth is we likely stole the holiday in the first place. What else would we have used?

2009-09-30

Shopping for new chairs - oh boy

Our living room is furnished in a unique style called Canadian garage sale. We bought the four pieces—sofa, loveseat, chair and ottoman—from the back of a hay wagon at a rural garage sale a few years ago. Rust colored semi-plush material covers them, and we bought them because there wasn’t a mark or blemish visible, and the price was right: fifteen dollars for the lot. The sofa and chair they replaced and been gnawed on by my late son’s dog, they were ratty and torn, and so our garage sale special was a definite improvement. The only complaint I had against this set (and still do) is that it shows ever speck of dust or lint and so it needs to be vacuumed nearly every day.

2009-09-23

Doing research - also for contemporary writers

It doesn’t seem all that long ago that if I wanted to do research for a book, I had to go to the library. My library of choice was at McMaster University in Hamilton. I loved it there because there were so many books and so many great places to curl up and be alone with them. When I would go, I’d make an entire day of it. Now, of course, we have the Internet for research. And while I miss poking my head out from my cave to actually experience fresh air and sunshine as I would if going away from home for the day, I have to say the Internet does have an advantage over libraries, hands down, for variety and scope of information offered, and for speed of access.

2009-09-16

Life isn’t anything at all like THEY said it was going to be.

When you’re standing smack dab in the middle of middle age—that is to say when the muck of it is nearing the top of your boots—you begin to have strange thought-tangents. That was me this week, and the basic thought at the center of my tangent was: life isn’t anything at all like THEY said it was going to be. When I was a teen in school, the educated literati and Academics of the day made some pretty lofty claims with regard to just about everything when it came to what we could expect in the future. Take the work-a-day world, for example.

2009-09-09

September

With each passing year, time seems to move faster and faster. Here we are into September. Already, in my part of Southern Ontario, some trees are sporting patches of yellow and red leaves. Overhead, I’ve watched several flocks of Canada Geese heading south. “They’re just practicing,” my beloved assures me. He knows how much I detest the onslaught of winter, and he’s doing his best to keep my spirits up.

2009-09-02

Cycle of life

The cycle of life always seems so vivid to me at this time of year. Summer wanes and autumn waits in the wings. Kids return to school, parents return to their pre-vacation routines. The sun rises, and the sun sets. Over and over and over again. We think that things have changed, that this world is somehow different than the world of our childhood; and perhaps in some ways it is. Yet in the essence of daily life, for the most of us, has more or less remained the same at least for a generation.

2009-08-26

Unpacking

After nearly two weeks away, I’m glad to be back home. As much as I love seeing new places, I’m most comfortable in my own home, surrounded by my own stuff. That saying, “be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home” is golden as far as I’m concerned. And yet, often when I come back from vacation, I’m hit by a sense of unreality. It’s almost as if I have to bond with my house and possessions all over again. It takes me a few days to get totally back into my comfort zone, to really feel at home.

2009-08-19

Lobster stew

The Margaret Todd is a151 foot, four-masted schooner, the main attraction for a company called Down East Windjammer Cruises. Operating out of Bar Harbor, it offers 2 hour excursions, tours of Frenchman’s Bay. Designed by her owner Captain Steven Pagels, the vessel was built in St. Augustine Florida and was launched in 1998. I first read about the Windjammer cruise company in the Auto Club’s (AAA) guidebook. As soon as I saw the words “four-masted schooner”, I knew this was an experience Mr. Ashbury would particularly enjoy.

2009-05-06

Growing older is an adventure.

There are both good things and not-so-good things to be experienced in this adventure. The negatives, of course, are likely obvious. As you get older, you discover that the things you could accomplish with alacrity when you were, say, in your early to mid-twenties are either impossible now, or take a great deal of medicating—before and after. You can’t do as much physical labor or do it as quickly as you could back then. You tire more quickly, but sleep less soundly. Dancing till dawn is out of the question. So is just staying up until dawn. I don’t know about you, but most nights I want my bed by ten-thirty.

2009-04-30

What an amazing week I had in Orlando!

I always return from the Romantic Times Book Lovers convention energized, and ready to get to work. The resort itself was beautiful, lushly landscaped, 16 two-storey buildings set along scenic paths and around swimming pools, lagoons and restaurants, with its own Convention center built in. Whenever I had to go anywhere on the grounds—mostly between my room and the convention center—all I had to do was call the bell desk and they very promptly sent someone around. They had a fleet of golf carts for ferrying guests hither and yon.

2009-04-25

Authors of romance sell 'happy'?

I was at a gathering of writers not too long ago, and one of them made a comment that I found interesting. She said that we who are authors of romance are in the business of selling ‘happy’. She further stated that therefore, whatever we write or communicate on the Internet should be ‘happy’ because what you write lives on line forever. In other words, we should always be selling ‘happy’.

2009-04-08

There’s snow on the ground.

It’s April 8th and there’s brand new snow on the ground. The only good thing about this is that I am going to be ever so much more appreciative of the Florida sunshine when I go to Orlando for RT on the 20th for a week. I know there are many of you who have been whacked by this round of spring snow storms, who have a lot more snow fouling up your spring than I do. Do you all feel, like me, that Mother Nature has just given us the finger? I ask you, is that any way for a mother to behave?

2009-04-01

Something happened this past weekend that has once again changed the composite of the Ashbury household: our daughter and grandson moved into their own place.

Despite the fact that today is indeed April 1st, this is no joke. We are once more a household of 2 humans, 1 dog and 1 cat. Our daughter and her husband have reconciled, and we’ll see how it works out. We only want her to be happy, with no parental parameters defining that happiness. We really do hope everything works out for her. But we’ve come to the conclusion it’s time for her to stand on her own two feet.

2009-03-18

Mothers are very special people.

I know that I sometimes do an essay about mothers in preparation for Mother’s Day. But a friend of mine recently lost his mother, and though that loss was expected, the reality of it has hit hard. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re never really ready for the loss of a loved one; and I think that the loss of one’s mother must be one of the hardest to bear.

2008-12-03

Black Friday

I know they call the day following Thanksgiving “Black Friday” because it’s traditionally the day retailers move into profit-making territory. But this year, we can think of it as “Black Friday” for an entirely different, heart-wrenching reason: as was reported on the news, a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death and three other people injured as shoppers surged into the store in New York, causing a stampede; and on the other side of the country, two men shot each other to death in a Toys R Us store in Palm Desert, California.

2008-11-26

Family

One thing about my family: they’re behind me one hundred percent. I can always count on their understanding and support. At dinner a few nights ago, we were discussing the fact that my beloved, for the first time in more than twenty years, was going to experience a temporary lay-off. It’s not a serious situation, there are many in his industry, and in his company at different sites, who will be forced to live without that pay check for much longer than we will. And I know that many of you will have to make such adjustments as well. I must confess that we aren’t completely prepared for this, financially.

2008-11-19

November winds

The winds of November have arrived, carrying a preview of winter to come. At times like these I sit and meditate on that age-old question: why can’t we hibernate like the bears do? Seriously. I live in Southern Ontario, Canada. On the plus side, my home town is south of all of North Dakota. On the minus side, I live almost dead-center smack dab between two of the Great Lakes – Ontario and Erie. Ever hear the term, “lake effect snow”?

2008-11-12

Change in fortune

It’s really hard, having to deal with the downturn in the economy and a sudden change in fortune. So many people right now are living on the edge of despair. Experts on the television will tell you “don’t panic”. You look at them in their pricey suits with their four hundred dollar haircuts and think, “that’s easy for you to say”. The ones best equipped to handle the financial nightmare are those who’ve had to deal with lean times in the past. Their bellies may clutch because they know exactly how bad things can get, but it generally doesn’t take them long to shift into “survival mode”.

2008-11-05

Wal-mart

It doesn’t take much to make me happy. It really doesn’t. I went to Wal-Mart Saturday, and I came out with a huge smile on my face. Before I explain why, let me take a moment to give you what’s likely to be way more information about me than you ever really wanted to know. I really am a simple woman. I don’t crave expensive things, as a rule. I don’t care if I have linen or silk, mohair or velvet. Diamonds and sapphires are pretty to look at, but I don’t feel moved to possess them. If my clothing is comfortable, and just a bit flattering in appearance, I’m happy. That’s for going out. When I am at home, in my cave, I really don’t give a darn what I look like.

2008-10-29

The walnut tree

We have a walnut tree in front of our house. Because it is alive, every year this tree produces leaves, and then walnuts. In the summer, it provides wonderful shade for our porch from the morning sun. In the fall it produces falling missiles and a ton of leaves on the ground. This is a small town, terraced as we have two rivers here. I’ve already described my back yard to you—stand at the top of our yard and you are quite literally above the house. We do have a driveway, but it comes into the back yard off a road that is on the same kind of incline as the yard itself. I use the driveway in the summer, and in the fall during the week that the bombardment from the walnut tree is in progress.

2008-10-22

The Food Chain

Most humans think we’re at the top of the food chain; that we are in command of our lives, our homes, and our world. But I know differently. We’re not in control at all. The cats are. Anyone who has been adopted by a cat and permitted to remain in their presence (living in their house, sleeping in their bed) knows exactly what I mean. In the Ashbury household we’re doubly blessed, for when my daughter and grandson moved in with us they brought with them their cat.

2008-10-15

Canadian Thanksgiving Day

This past Monday was Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Times are scary for a lot of people all over the world right now. What the future will bring is really a case, for most of us, of wait and see – and that is a really hard stance to take in this age when we have all become accustomed to the things we want being much more immediately attainable. Will the stock market re-bound? Will our pension plans and investments recover? Will our houses increase in value back up to what they were when we purchased them so that if we have to sell them we can at the very least break even? My instincts tell me the ultimate answer to all of these questions is ‘yes’; but the correct response is: we just have to wait and see.

2008-10-08

I realized just today that we’re almost at the end of porch weather here in Southern Ontario.

Sadly, I’ve not taken advantage of my front porch as often this summer as I have in years past. That’s one of the bi-products of being so busy. But I have sat out on it a few times, and each time I do, I feel a sense of tradition. This is something I’ve enjoyed in every house I’ve ever lived in.

2008-10-01

The older I get, the more there is in life that I simply don’t understand.

If I were to categorize these things into groups of the lowest common denominator, then I would have to say the thing I don’t understand the most is families. I’ve been fairly blessed in my family. Yes, I lost both my parents way too soon, and I lost a son; but I’ve never had to endure a family feud, nor have I ever encountered someone in my family so mean-spirited that they take joy in making the lives of other people miserable.

2008-09-24

Before I was privileged to spend my days at home writing essays and stories, I worked for more than twenty years in the field of accounting.

So numbers and finance, to some small extent, are no strangers to me. That said, I don’t fully understand the financial crisis that has befallen the stock market this past week. And I have to wonder what is worse: the actual crisis, or the government’s reaction to it. I’m a simple woman, with a fairly simple view of most things. The lessons I learned in childhood, however, haven’t really helped me to understand life in this modern era. Because one of the most important lessons—if the amount of time my mother spent cramming it into my head is any measure—was that if you make a mess, you clean it up.

2008-09-17

It’s amazing the things I can come up with to fill my time when I’m supposed to be writing.

And I really don’t understand that, because I love to write. I love everything about the process except for the days here and there where I’m restless, and maybe a bit lazy. I’m participating in a writing challenge at the moment, and because I have to report my progress each day, I’ve been motivated a bit more than usual to crank out the words. I’ve actually done quite well, managing to write every day except one since the 8th of August.

2008-09-10

Yes, it’s September once more, which means summer is waning, the days are getting shorter, and the kids have gone back to school.

As you know, we have our daughter and grandson living with us. Our grandson has gone back to school—and so has our daughter. She’s beginning a year long course at the local community college, taking classes that will qualify her as a P.S.W. – Personal Support Worker. Here in Southern Ontario, school begins on the day after Labour Day. Tuesday morning, September 2nd, bright and early, off they went, the two of them. You’re probably wondering why I wasn’t whooping it up last week in my essay, sharing with you all the joys of having my home to myself again each day.

2008-09-03

Nature likes to come and play so destructively

I’ve experienced a lot of things in this life; but I have never been forced from my home, not knowing if everything that forms the foundation of my life would be there when I returned, or not. Two million people left their homes last weekend in the face of the approach of Hurricane Gustav. I can’t wrap my head around that. That is a phenomenal number of people, and their peaceful evacuation an amazing accomplishment when you think about it. They left behind everything that encompasses their lives, taking only what they could stuff into cars or, in the case of those boarding buses and trains into backpacks and garbage bags, and left.

2008-08-27

I try very hard to steer clear of issues and debates that can be extremely polarizing.

For example, under the heading of topics I will never address in my weekly essay is the current election campaign being waged in the United States. Well, there was that one essay on the differences in the lengths of our respective countries’ campaigns, but that was as far as I’ll go. I am a Canadian, but I do pay attention to American politics. The United States is the leader of the world and our closest neighbour, so why wouldn’t I? And I do have opinions on the race now underway, but it’s not for discussion here. In point of fact, it’s really none of my business.

2008-08-20

There are several reasons that I undertake the writing of this essay every week.

The first is that I pure and simple love to write essays. I love writing, but essays are special in that there’s a freedom of poetry and flow you can’t always use in fiction. The second reason for these weekly compositions is that I enjoy sharing my opinions and inspiring debate. Notice, dear readers, that I said “my opinions” and not “the truth”. My words are only my opinion, and I welcome all discourse, whether in agreement or opposition. Another reason is yes, a self-serving one. I’m a writer of fiction, and in penning these essays I am promoting myself as a writer, as someone whose stories you may perhaps want to buy.

2008-08-13

The weather

As I was on my way to the grocery store yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice the lawns here in town. They’re all so full and lush, a startling vibrant green that I tend to associate with spring time. Usually, at this point in the summer, the grass is a bit green, a lot brown, looking dried out and stressed.

Those of us who are not scientifically astute, who are middle aged (and then some) don’t question whether or not the weather patterns are changing. We know they are.

2008-08-06

Spending time with other writers

There’s something special about being a writer and spending time with other writers. For me, that is hands down the biggest appeal for attending the RWA National Conference.

This job that has chosen a lot of us is not an easy endeavour; it tends to isolate its practitioners. By the very nature of the work, we’re set apart from our friends and family who have 'real jobs'. The only time we feel understood and appreciated, the only time we feel justified, is when we’re with other writers.

2008-07-30

The way our minds work

Isn’t it strange, sometimes, the way our minds work? As I was out driving the other day, I happened to look up to the sky. There, high above me and heading east was an airplane. It was a passenger jet, very much like the one I’ll likely be on as you are reading this essay.

Suddenly, I was a child again, lying in the lush grass of our country home, gazing up at the sky and dreaming of what ifs. The summer-warn wind wafting through the open car window became the sweet breeze that would soothe me as I dreamt of the future and all the amazing things I could do when I became a grown up.

2008-07-23

Celebrations!

Last week we celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary, and this week, my birthday. And next week, we’re off to San Francisco for the Romance Writers of America National Conference.

I’m really glad I bought those airline tickets in February, or else it’s likely we wouldn’t be going at all. I have a kind of draw-the-line mentality, you see. For example, last year we attended the same conference in Dallas. We went for an entire week, did some sightseeing together before the conference got underway. But this year, we’re only going for four nights, because the hotel rooms are about a hundred dollars a night above what they were in Dallas. So I drew the line—four days, not an entire week.

2008-07-16

Back in the days...

I can remember as if it was yesterday rolling my eyes any time my father-in-law would utter the words, “back in my day”. A part of me would be thinking, “Times have changed, get over it.” And another part of me would be vowing that when I got older, such expressions would not be in my lexicon.

Ah, well. It’s amazing what interesting roads life takes us down, roads we were certain we would never travel.

2008-07-09

Our trip to Philadelphia on Thursday and Friday of last week was all we could have hoped it would be, and more.

Imagine our surprise when we saw the Seaport Museum, which had as a special attraction two actual ships in permanent dock.

The Olympia, an armored cruiser, served in eighteen-ninety two as the flag ship for Admiral Perry during the battle of Manila Bay. The other was a boat—a submarine, the Becuna, which was active during the Second World War and was only decommissioned in the 1960s. My husband went through these of course. My beloved is convinced that in a previous life he was a seafaring man – a pirate, to be exact. So any time we get near ships, he’s there. On an earlier vacation we toured Patriot’s Point in Charleston, South Carolina where, among their treasures they counted the USS Yorktown, a World War Two aircraft carrier.

2008-07-02

I’ve come to an important decision. I’m going back to making lists.

This is the second trip in a row now where I’ve gritted my teeth and not given in to the urge to be completely anal and make a thorough, detailed list. And yes, this is the second trip in a row now where I’ve forgotten to pack some of the things I fully intended to bring. The fact that I’m really not missing those items so badly is entirely beside the point. So I’ve decided to stop fighting my nature. I know that as a result, I will once again be the target of jokes and the source of hilarity amongst my loved ones. But at least they’ll be smiling.

2008-06-25

Vacation time is upon us once more

Ground Hog day received due homage, winter has finally receded, and both Victoria Day in Canada and Memorial Day in the United States have been celebrated and put to bed. All this can only mean one thing: vacation time is upon us once more.

The Ashburys are leaving very, very early Friday morning (my dear one needs to be on the road a.s.a.p. so that he feels he’s on vacation). We’re en route to our friends in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.

2008-06-18

Fathers are amazing people.

In my life, up close and personal I’ve observed five fathers; my own—whom sadly I lost when I was only eight; my husband; his father; and my two sons. Here is what I know about fathers. The best preparation for fatherhood is having had a good father, otherwise it’s all on-the-job-training.

2008-06-11

Our household is returning to normal—well, as normal as this household can be, at any rate.

We ended the week having two young grandchildren here successfully, in that none of us was truly sick of the other when they went home.

I think the seven days just passed proved to be a tremendous learning experience, all around. For example, I learned that the name of the ‘middle’ finger has been changed, officially, to the ‘rude’ finger.

2008-05-28

Yesterday I went to the grocery store, and I have an announcement to make.

Men should not be allowed to go grocery shopping alone. Ever. This is a subject that I’ve longed to address for some time. I’ve held off, because I wanted to be certain that y’all knew me well enough to understand that this announcement is not made out of any anti-male sentiment. I have no anti-male sentiment. I do, however, believe that men and women are wired differently, and thus suited to different tasks in life. And one task men are definitely not suited for is grocery shopping.

2008-05-21

You have to believe in yourself.

Let me state that again, because I want to make absolutely certain you read the words at least twice: you have to believe in yourself. Yes, I know that’s easier said than done. But do you understand that believing in yourself is at the very heart of every single one of life’s successes?

2008-05-14

I just know I’m going to get myself in trouble for this one. Once again, nothing ventured—nothing blown.

I have a personal hot-button issue with regard to the Queen’s English. Now, yes, it’s perfectly fine that there are different versions of the language between our two countries, and when I write my Wednesday’s Words, as with my manuscripts, I more often than not use U.S. English.

2008-05-07

Spring is my favorite time of year.

I’ve lived in a fairly large city, and I currently reside in a small town. But I’m a country girl at heart, as I spent the first 18 years of my life living in a rural community and I’ve always loved spring because of the renewal and re-awakening of nature.

2008-04-30

I left my pillow in Pittsburgh

You know that song, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco”? Well, I left my pillow in Pittsburgh. “Gee, that’s too bad, Morgan. But hey, I bet they sell pillows at the mall.” Yes, they do. But now it’s time for me to make yet another soul-baring, face-losing confession: I become emotionally attached to my possessions. Oftentimes, ridiculously so.

2008-04-23

After the excitement of a week spent with enthusiastic readers and other authors, it’s strange to be home.

This is culture shock at its finest. The dog doesn’t care who I am as long as his dish is full. The cat will speak to me when he feels I’ve been sufficiently punished by his withdrawal of affection, which is all my fault since I did go away. There are dishes to be done and dinners to be made and a toilet to be cleaned.

2008-04-16

Yesterday was a day of traveling, an endeavor that never ceases to amaze me.

It’s exciting and exhilarating, and stressful and draining, all at the same time. There’s the planning and the executing; the anticipation and the fulfillment; the highs and the lows and it’s all only temporary.

2008-04-09

The countdown has begun!

Many of you are nodding, thinking, “Morgan’s excited about attending RT again this year.” And you’d be right. I am excited about it. After all, it was at RT in 2006 that I met and pitched to my wonderful, awesome publisher, Amanda Hilton of Siren Publishing. I’ll be privileged to spend time with her again this year, as well as with some of my sister Sirens, a few of whom I’ll be meeting for the first time. I can hardly wait. But that’s not exactly what I am counting down to.

2008-04-02

Where are we going wrong with our children?

Last Thursday, I left my home in the early evening to make the kind of visit none of us really wants to make. A young man—a former friend of my late son’s—had apparently after years of turmoil and bad choices, made one final bad choice, and taken his own life.

2008-03-26

I worry about us sometimes. I really do.

Here we are, we humans, at the height of our evolution to date. Think about that for a moment. Think back to the dawn of humanity. There we were just us and this earth with all the abundance of nature. And look what we have wrought from it. Whatever we have now that we didn’t have at the dawn of civilization, we have created. No one parachuted supplies to planet earth. All that we have came from the earth and our own ingenuity and creativity. Just look at the difference between nothing but rocks and trees and fields and streams and oceans to what we have today. Isn’t it amazing? Isn’t it miraculous?

2008-03-19

Ah, the pool. What can I say about the pool that I haven’t already said?

I did have to miss my swimming for a few weeks after Christmas, as I was assailed by cold after cold. I was beginning to think my body was working against me – and maybe it was. But finally, mid-February, my colds ended and I was able to get back into the swim of things (pun definitely intended).

2008-03-13

My first ride on the subway

I’m 53 years old. I’ve been to Bermuda, The Bahamas, Cuba, The Dominican Republic, The US Virgin Islands, and Puerto Rico. I’ve taken three cruises and I’ve visited 21 of the 50 United States and Washington D.C. And last Saturday I rode the subway for the first time in my life.

2008-03-05

I really miss Peter Jennings.

When he was the anchor of ABC World News Tonight, I rarely missed a broadcast. You could count on his reports to be fair, balanced, and true.

2008-02-27

Man, kids are a lot different today than when I was one.

I’m trying to remember the details of my childhood, trying to recall how sophisticated I was at eight or nine or ten. Now, my daddy died when I was eight, and so the concept of mortality became known to me much sooner than I think was normal for those days. From that time on, if my mom or one of my siblings got sick, there was a fear lurking just under the surface of my subconscious. So in that respect, I suppose you could say I grew up quickly.

2008-02-20

Major Change in household

There’s been a major change in the Ashbury household in the last couple of months. We’ve gone from a family of 2 to a family of 4. At the beginning of January, my daughter and her son moved in with us. This was not a step that any of us took lightly, or easily. It was certainly a difficult decision for my daughter to make, as anyone who has been through the dissolution of a marriage will know.

2008-02-13

Valentine's Day

Love is in the air and tiny cherubs have been stocking up on amour-tipped arrows in preparation for tomorrow – Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day we set aside each year to celebrate love, the day for sending and receiving hearts, flowers and chocolates; cute little stuffed animals that are so soft an huggable; sexy teddies and merry widows and all sorts of lacy scraps of enticing barely-there outfits.

2008-02-06

I never know where I’m going to get my Wednesday’s Words from.

I don’t usually go “looking” for a topic. They usually just come to me, and in that I’m blessed. My topic last week sparked a few interesting responses, and I’m delighted that they weren’t all in agreement with my opinion. Truly, I’m glad some of you disagreed with what I had to say, because nothing is better than honest debate of differing viewpoints.

2008-01-30

Three chapter writers

I encountered a term just the other day that I must confess left me feeling very confused. That term: “three chapter writers”. Now when I saw this I thought, “hmm, I wonder what chapter these three writers belong to”? But no, it wasn’t three ‘chapter writers’. It was ‘three chapter’ writers. That is, writers who have never written any more than three chapters of any novel.

2008-01-23

All we really wanted was a new toilet.

As I’ve probably told you before, we’re not finicky people. We don’t have to have the most expensive, or the newest or the best. As long as what we have works, we’re content.

2008-01-16

I’m a writer of novels and essays.

Being a writer isn’t what I do so much as it’s who I am. It defines me at the core. Because I am a writer down to the bone, how I look at things, the way I process information, the thoughts I entertain on a daily basis, my reactions, interactions, and interpretations are intrinsically different than for someone who’s not.

2008-01-09

I let myself get carried away for a few days, but I’m all better now.

You may have noticed in reading these loops that it’s award season. Yep, IRL (as devoted web surfers like to say) you’ve got your Emmys and your Oscars, there’s the CMAs and the Grammies and (to salute my Canadian-ness) the Junos.

2008-01-02

I have a lot to be grateful for in my life.

One of the things I am most grateful for is the ability to feel tremendous optimism for the future. Every year at this time my heart positively swells thinking about the possibilities that are waiting just around the corner for every one of us.

2007-12-26

Today in Canada, and in a few other nations of the British Commonwealth, it is Boxing Day.

This is a statutory holiday here, one that traces its roots back to the middle ages, in England. No one seems to know exactly what the origin of ‘boxing day’ truly is. The experts all agree that it is not about people in a ring fighting, nor is it a day devoted to boxing up all those gifts that you didn’t really like and exchanging them. But it does have to do with giving.

2007-12-19

I received so very many responses to my essay last week...

...responses from people offering me their encouragement and prayers, and from people sharing similar stories of loss and the struggle to find peace and a sense of celebration at Christmas time.

November 14th -The most beneficial thing about being on vacation is that life slows down.

We who live in North America tend to live our lives at break-neck speed. We have practically every minute of our days planned. We plan our children`s days too, as if spare time is a state to be avoided at all costs.

And at the end of our day - well, I know at the end of mine - I often feel as if I didn`t wring every ounce of usefulness out of it. Read more

November 7th -Can you believe this is the fiftieth edition of Wednesday’s Words?
If anyone out there ever doubted that I was a person of many and varied opinions, unafraid to share same, you may doubt no more.

My first ‘essay’ was posted on November 22, 2006. Because I was shy, and new—you didn’t know me—it was a bare four paragraphs in length. I was a Canadian writing to mostly Americans and I wanted to acknowledge that fact. Read more

November 1st - My thoughts and prayers have been with those hundreds of thousands of people in California chased from their homes over the last couple of weeks by the threat of wildfire.

Most of them will be able to return to homes that are still standing. But some will go home to nothing but ashes. Most will gather close to family and friends and give thanks that they all survived. Some will mourn the loss of loved ones.. Read more

October 24th - I keep getting pulled deeper and deeper into the maze known as modern technology.

Last week, my beloved insisted that it was time for new computers for the both of us. He’d never had a new one, and while I have that laptop he gave me for Christmas, and it’s great for when we travel, it’s really not that great to write on full time. And…um…my desk top computer had no sound and was…um…still on dial-up. Read more

October 17th - I thought it was time to give you all an update on my fitness program.

To recap, on August 14th I took out a three-month membership at a local sports center. Specifically, this membership was for the pool and the ‘weight room’. My plan was to swim every day for the first couple of weeks before tackling the weight room. This I did, and was set on a fairly light regimen on equipment I’d never seen before. And I had vowed that I would swim every day and utilize the fitness room three days a week. Read more

October 10th - There are two things which we think we direct toward others but which, in truth, boomerang right back to ourselves. One is not good, and the other is. One is spite. The other, forgiveness.

I’ve never understood why people do things out of spite. Even in my darkest days, it was an emotion – or a motivator – that I somehow managed to avoid..

When I was a young wife and mother, I was incredibly self-consumed and full of self-pity. My theme song might as well have been “Eating Worms” (you know the one, I’m sure: nobody loves me, everybody hates me, down in the garden eating worms…). Read more

October 3rd - Gee, I hope this doesn’t get me into trouble.

One of my very first ‘Wednesday’s Words’ was about the similarities between my country, Canada, and the United States. That essay coincided with the celebration of the U.S. Thanksgiving (we have Thanksgiving in Canada, too, only a month earlier). There are a lot of ways in which our two nations are similar. Read more

September 26th - I am such an ungrateful wretch. I’m serious. And after I tell you why, I bet you’ll agree with me.

We have just come home from our latest trip. This one was pure vacation. We visited friends in Pennsylvania. There wasn’t a lot of organization involved in the packing (although I did forget my pillow), and we drove there, rather than taking a flight. The trip took us only seven hours driving time. I like driving, so that was no problem (my beloved does not drive). We had a great time, doing most of what we wanted to do. I was happy to go, and I’m happy to be home. Read more

September 12th - It doesn’t seem as if six years have passed since that dreadful day.

For most of us, the passage of time has been as it always is—good days, bad days, but one day at a time, piling end on end and bleeding into years, as ever they do. We all acknowledge the world that dawned on September 12, 2001 was different than the one just the day before, and that it would never be as it was again. But for most of us, that change was more abstract than substantive. We mourned, yes. Then life moved on. We integrated a new watchfulness into our routines, a new awareness of our surroundings, and that became our new normal. Read more

September 5th - Yesterday, all across this great province of Ontario, mothers wept with joy and fathers sang songs of praise and thanksgiving.

Yep, you’ve got it. The kids went back to school.

It’s been a lot of years since I personally was able to partake in what is known as the “autumn celebration”. Now I experience it vicariously, as my children gleefully wave theirs off to class each fall.

I can still remember the first time that all three of my little angels boarded the bus, bound for a full day at school. It was a moment, let me tell you. I recall standing at the end of the driveway, and giggling. Just giggling like a loon for a good few minutes. Read more

August 29th - Have you ever found yourself, from time to time, not doing the things you know you should do, even things that would be of great benefit to you?

That’s me and exercise. But I’m here to report today that I’ve turned over a new leaf.

As you know, I’ve been seeing a woman once every couple of weeks who is helping me deal with the loss of my son. We decided to take August off, and will get together again at the end of September. Read more

August 22nd -I love getting comments from people who read these weekly musings. Often, your words are the highlight of my day. And sometimes, they're downright inspirational.

I was asked, and yes, my husband did indeed laugh when he read last week's essay about my ‘bathroom dream'. Well, actually he laughed and nodded. I told him that there were some concerns that he might have found the piece insulting. So I've decided that turn about is fair play. Unfortunately, he doesn't particularly care to write, himself, but be assured that I have his input for today's essay. Read more

August 15th -When I get rich and famous, I'm buying a house with two bathrooms.

I live a simple life, and always have. I've never been one of those women who wants ‘things'. I'm not the fussy sort. I don't care if my furniture matches as long as it doesn't clash. I've never needed the newest or the best. As long as what I have does the job, I'm content.

I've never been one to lust after fancy clothes or fancy cars. Jewelry is pretty, I suppose, but I've never been moved to accumulate expensive baubles. I'm quite happy going to the discount stores and buying 10 pieces (pair of earrings, necklaces, bracelets) for 10 dollars. Read more

August 8th -Have you heard that song by Madonna called “Hung Up”? It begins with the words, “time goes by so slowly”. The first time I heard it, I immediately thought, ‘ No it doesn't!'

Everything has come, and then passed so quickly in my life. I look in the mirror, notice the gray hair and ‘laugh lines', and wonder, “How did that happen?”

Wasn't it only yesterday that we got married and were beginning our lives together? Last month we celebrated our thirty-fifth anniversary. That's more than 12,000 days. And I have to confess; I don't know where a tenth of them have gone. Read more

August 1st -The time has come for me to admit the awful truth: I am not a Party Animal.

You have no idea what a major disappointment this has been for me. Dreams of being a Party Animal kept me going when, years ago, times were tough, and boring.

Christmas would come, and we'd use up all our available funds providing the best Christmas we could for our kids. This meant we never had anything left over to even consider a New Years Eve celebration. But that was all right, because when it was just the two of us, we'd party hardy. We'd become Party Animals. Read more

July 25th -No trip to Dallas can be considered complete without visiting the corner of Houston and Elm, the location of the former book depository building, the current home of the John F. Kennedy Sixth Floor Museum.

I'm Canadian, as you know. And when President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, I was only nine years old. But I remember.

I was attending a rural three-room school at the time. Room one held grades 1 through four; room two held grades five through 8. And room three was for the ‘special' students, called at the time the ‘opportunity' class. Read more

July 18th -Isn't it amazing in life, how often things turn out to be nothing like you think they're going to be?

I'd hoped to attend a couple of seminars and perhaps get to peek at a few of my favorite authors. Instead, I was privileged to speak, one on one, with several of them.

This was my very first Romance Writers' of America Conference. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I'd known, going in, that it was more writer-oriented than the RT Convention I'd attended in April. RT is geared toward readers. RWA is all for writers. Read more

July 11th -Traveling is an interesting pass-time. It takes planning, and luck.

Luck you ask?

Yes. Please, allow me to explain.

We've been planning this trip to Dallas since May. That was when I registered for the RWA conference, and found out, to my dismay, that there were no more rooms available in the conference host hotel.

That was ok, an alternate hotel was designated. Looking up this hotel on the Internet, we decided that it would be fine. A short cab ride between them—and here is a stroke of good luck for me, although some of you would say it's good planning on the part of the conference organizers: there will be a free shuttle service between the hotels, at half hour intervals. Read more

July 4th -Canadians aren't, generally speaking, flag wavers.

For this reason, you likely don't know that each year, three days before those of you located in the United States celebrate your Independence Day, we just north of you have our national holiday. Yes, ‘Canada Day' is July 1 st.

We've never been a nation of flag wavers. In 1993 David and I took a vacation, and part of that time was spent in Orlando, Florida. We made our way one night to the Church Street Station... Read more

June 27th -Like most people, I was surprised to hear that Triskelion will cease to be next week.

My sympathy goes out to those authors who placed their hopes and dreams and trust in that publisher's hands.

The situation is really not unlike that found from time to time in the corporate world: you work for a company faithfully, then wham: you're either laid off, or the company closes and you're out of work.

There's a part of me that clings to naïve ideals. When I worked outside the home, it was in accounting, for a total of four companies spanning a period of about twenty-five years. In a couple of them, I also handled payroll and employee benefits. Read more

June 20th -Many of you shared your own stories about lost friends in loops and e-mails with me last week, and that was wonderful.

Because you were so interested, I wanted to share with you a little of my experience on Thursday.

I had a long drive to think about the reunion that was about to take place. But I didn't think about it, really. I just let my mind wander, allowing it free rein to go where it wanted to go.

And I found myself admiring the scenery along the highway, reveling in the bright sunshine of the warm June day, wondering what we were going to have for dinner that night…in short, my mind seemed determined to focus on everything, anything, except the journey I was making. Read more

June 13th -Tomorrow I embark on a trip that has been way too long in the taking. I'm driving to a place, two and a half hours away, to reconnect with an old friend.

Jane moved in, three doors down from me in our rural neighborhood, when she and I were ten years old. She was my very first best friend. We spent some time, nearly every day, together. With her, I discovered what being a girl was all about. We shared 16 Magazine, and sleepovers. We experimented with our hair, makeup, and daydreams. She had a father—mine had died when I was 8—but her parents were divorced, and she lived with her mom and didn't see her dad that often, so there was another bond between us. Read more

June 6th -I'm probably going to get into trouble over this one. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing blown, I always say.

Over the course of the last few weeks I have encountered a number of people, writers all, who have a common complaint: It seems that their lives are too stressful at the moment for them to write.

Now, I can identify with the stress part. I really can. Everyone has stress in their lives. Bills need to be paid and the paycheck is short; kids get into trouble in school, or just give us trouble, period. Loved ones who are supposed to be on our side seem to be conspiring against us. Relationships implode. Loved ones get sick, or die. Read more

May 30th - Sometimes in life, you just have to get help.

No one's life is perfect. We all have ups and downs. Things go wrong. Jobs are lost, couples separate, attempts turn to failures. These are the ‘teachers' in life, where we stop or are stopped, and are taught, or tested—our patience, our resolve, or our spirits—before we continue on to the next level.

I have long believed that the purpose of life is not to show you a good time; it is to show you how to become a better person. I have also always known that it is not in the good times that we grow, but in the tough or challenging times. Read more

May 23rd - There's a coffee shop chain in Canada called Tim Horton's. And they're everywhere. At least they are in Southwestern Ontario.

I had occasion to visit one of the Tim's in the close-by town of Dundas, recently. I went there to kill a bit of time before my doctor's appointment.

I was trying to recall how long there had been a Tim's in this location. I can remember we came here on a regular basis after leaving work and picking up our son Christopher from the babysitter's. He would have been about two at the time. He's turning 35 in December, so that's a long time—for a coffee shop around here. Read more

May 16th - Last Sunday was Mother's Day in North America, and I went shopping for Mother's Day cards a few days before hand.

I, myself, no longer have a mother, or a mother-in-law. But I have a daughter, a daughter-in-law, and a second daughter.

My second daughter is the mother of two of my grandchildren—the children of my younger son. They separated a few years ago, and I am so blessed and fortunate that she has remained a part of our family. The two of us have a wonderful relationship. She and my daughter consider themselves sisters. We are lucky to have her. Read more

May 9th - Visiting old, familiar places is interesting, isn't it? You can see where you are, and where you were, all at the same time.

That expression, ‘you can never go home again' is quite a literal one for me. The two rural houses where I lived the beginning of my life—as an infant through my teen years and then later, through the first fifteen years of my marriage—have both been torn down. New homes, shiny and elegant, stand in their stead. Poignantly, for me at least, the only remaining identifiable landmark of the one house—where I lived with my mom, and then with my young family after mom passed—are the two flowering crab trees my brother, sister and I gave Mom for the last mother's day we had her, in 1975. Read more

May 2nd - We're back from Romantic Times, and I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about my husband.

Come this July, we'll have been married for 35 years.

David is a man who has always worked hard and done his best. He has never shirked his responsibility to his family, and is quite baffled by anyone—any man —who would. In the early years of our marriage, he would work hard at a job only to be laid off. In those times, he would do whatever it took to put food on our table. I've seen him shovel driveways in the winter and cut brush in the deadly heat of summer. Read more

April 25th - Writing from the Romantic Times Book Lover's Convention in Houston.

I'm writing to you from Houston Texas today. I`m here for the Romantic Times Book Lover's Convention being held at the Hyatt Regency Hotel. I've been here since Sunday, and since Sunday I've been trying to think how I can best describe this event to those of you not here, to give you a flavour of it.

This is the twenty-fifth convention. Romantic Times is a book review magazine that publishes 250 book reviews in each issue, including mainstream fiction as well as genre fiction. Read more

April 18th - What a difference a year makes. Or in this case, eleven months.

This week finds me getting ready to board an airplane, bound from Toronto, Canada to Houston, Texas, for the Romantic Times Booklovers' Convention. This will be the second time I've been to RT. The first time—last year—was a trip that literally changed my life.

The year before last, I'd attended the Canadian Author's Association Annual Conference (CanWrite 2005) with a number of people from my Online Writing Group, and Kelley Armstrong. At this conference, Kelley said, “Wouldn't it be great to go to RT together? It's in Daytona Beach!” Read more

April 11th - No one can get where they want to be all by themselves.

Whatever the endeavor, the assistance of others—in one form or another—is required in order to be successful.

That's especially true for writers. Although on the surface, writing would seem to be the most solitary of professions, in fact it's not. Yes, there are times when it's just you and the blank piece of paper—or blank computer screen. But those are only moments during the process. Everything I write goes to two trusted readers and critique partners, who are themselves writers. Read more

April 4th - What is it about holidays that makes me get nostalgic?

For the most part, each and every day for me is full. There's writing, and housework. Often, there are grandchildren visiting, or errands to run. Generally, I spend every day living it to the fullest—in the here and now. Read more

March 28th - Does anyone else read their horoscope on a daily basis?

I'm not a devotee, but I do have a couple that I scan each morning, right after reading all my e-mail, and just before I do anything else.

I've been doing this for more than a year, and there are a few things I've noticed. First, I consider myself an optimist. To me, the cup is always half full, and at any given moment when asked, "hey, how are you?", I will answer with a resounding, "I'm terrific!" Read more

March 21st - I don't think I have a future in television.

I'll admit it, I'm spoiled. For the last two years I have been free to do what I want, when I want. Yes, I adhere to a schedule of sorts, and do my best to spend the bulk of my day at the keyboard, writing. But when I do deviate, it's by my own design, and at my own whim. I am the master of my fate, the captain of my ship! Read more

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Introduction

Hello to the readers of Euro-Reviews! My name is Morgan Ashbury, I'm Canadian, and I'm a writer—primarily, at the moment, of erotic romance. Being a published author has been my life-long dream. Like a lot of dreams, it slid into the background as the demands of working and raising a family took priority.

Then, in December 2002, I underwent emergency triple by-pass surgery. My husband told me that at 48, I was to consider myself retired, and that it was time to do what I wanted to do.

There was only one thing, of course. Now, five years later, I am a published author. My first e-novel, an erotic romantic-comedy called Made For Each Other was released by Siren Publishing in March, and a novella, one of Siren's Adult Fairy Tales called Beau And The Lady Beast was released April 1st. I have more novels in progress, and I've never been happier.

I began to write Wednesday's Words for two reasons: first, because I love writing essays. I always have. But also, I thought it would be a unique way to have the name ‘Morgan Ashbury' become familiar to readers, and perhaps they would like my writing style and decide to check out my novels.

I love hearing from readers, and I'm so very gratified to know that my essays resonate with so many. It proves to me, at least, that even though we come from different countries, and different walks of life, our similarities are greater than our differences.

Love,

Morgan

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